Are You Spending Too Much Time Alone?
I thought isolating myself would give me peace.
I like to be alone. Even though I am an extroverted person, having time alone helps me make sense of my day and my emotions.
But when I have a bad day, I tend to isolate myself by climbing into my bed, pulling the covers over my head, and scrolling on my phone. It takes my mind off the things that are worrying me.
But I’ve noticed that the more I do this, the harder it is to stop. And when I isolate myself consistently, I tend to feel even worse than before.
Not too long ago, this behavior bled into my spiritual life and made me feel completely disconnected from Heavenly Father. It also made my mental health worse. I wanted to break this habit of isolation, so I decided to study what combats loneliness. I wanted to know how to improve both my mental and my spiritual health.
Here are a few things I found.
The Importance of Good Connections
While learning more about loneliness, I found a study that focused on what leads to lifelong happiness. Researchers discovered that having close, happy relationships can improve our quality of life. In fact, embracing community makes us happier and live longer.
Reading about this study reminded me of how Jesus Christ served others in His mortal ministry. Each of the connections He made through ministering were genuine and meaningful. He is the perfect example of high-quality connection.
Elder Ian S. Ardern of the Seventy described the gentle and kind nature of the Savior: “Compassion is an attribute of Christ. It is born of love for others and knows no boundaries. Jesus, the Saviour of the world, is the epitome of compassion.”
This quote inspired me to follow the example of Jesus Christ and genuinely reach out to others. Whether it was at work, at school, or with my family, I decided to look outward as I went through my day. I asked myself if there was anyone I could help, anyone I could be a friend to, or anyone who needed a little bit of extra love.
The more I served others, the better I felt spiritually.
When Is Time Alone a Good Idea?
It can be good to spend time alone to relax and observe our thoughts, especially when we need to ponder and listen to the Spirit. But if we are alone all the time, this can lead toward self-indulgence, and we may miss opportunities for connection.
As I was trying to figure out how to balance alone time and time with others, I studied the scriptures and the life of the Savior and prayed for answers.
The Savior “withdrew himself into the wilderness, and prayed” (Luke 5:16). He likely wanted alone time to speak with His Father. Like Christ, we too can use time alone to reconnect with our Heavenly Father, which can help us invite the Holy Ghost into our lives.
Finding Balance
If you are wondering if you are spending too much time alone, counsel with Heavenly Father. Pay attention to your social and emotional needs. When you’re feeling lonely, reach out! Don’t spend even more time alone. Practice having a proper balance of your time and be aware of tendencies to isolate yourself.
President Jeffrey R. Holland, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, taught:
“No one is so strong that they do not ever feel fatigued or frustrated or recognize the need to care for themselves. …
“… You have to have fuel in the tank before you can give it to others.”
Heavenly Father is aware of our circumstances. He knows our worries, our desires, and our needs. He also knows our personalities—and that some of us might need more time alone to recalibrate from the world than others. And that’s OK!
If we rely on Him to guide us, we will be able to understand when we need time alone and when we need connection with others.