4 Reminders from Conference for When You’re Feeling Insecure
Listening to conference filled me with confidence, replacing the harsh voices in my head with encouraging ones.
Lately, I’ve caught myself looking in the mirror more than usual, wondering if there’s something I need to change. I even went and got a haircut.
I’ve also been overanalyzing my conversations with friends, getting lost inside my head. The selfish, careless things I’ve said haunt me, and a cruel voice echoes in my mind: “No wonder you’re single.”
The fact that most of my friends are settling down while I still haven’t found someone makes it seem so obvious: Other people must see my flaws too.
So when general conference began, I was seriously questioning my worth and feeling more insecure than ever.
But as I listened, something shifted. The messages I heard filled me with quiet confidence, replacing the harsh voices in my head with encouraging ones.
Four principles stood out to me—reminders that helped me see myself more clearly.
1. Remember Whose You Are
Satan’s methods of making us question our worth aren’t anything new. After God told Moses he was His son, Satan came and called Moses a mere “son of man” (see Moses 1:7, 12–16).
Elder Brik V. Eyre of the Seventy taught: “We need to stand strong in the knowledge of who we truly are. We must seek validation vertically, not horizontally. And as we do, we too can boldly proclaim, ‘I am a child of God.’”
These words hit me. Why don’t I repeat those words more often, rather than mentally rehearsing my weaknesses? I don’t need to make Satan’s work any easier by thinking negatively of myself. Regardless of my imperfections, I am a child of God.
2. Remember Your Spiritual Gifts
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles also spoke of our divine identity:
“You are a blessed being of light. …
“You are anything but ordinary.
Some of the unique, more subtle spiritual gifts he listed were “noticing people who are overlooked,” “finding reasons to be joyful,” “noticing small miracles,” and “helping others know that they belong.” I’d never realized these attributes—ones I possessed—were spiritual gifts!
Instead of comparing our gifts to those of others, Elder Uchtdorf encouraged us to focus on magnifying the ones we have.
I realized that if I spent less time thinking about my own shortcomings, I would have more time to learn, grow, and serve.
3. Remember to Minister
Listening to Elder Gerrit W. Gong of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles reminded me that I’m not the only one who struggles with loneliness.
“Today many feel lonely and isolated,” he said. “We want authentic belonging and kindness.”
Elder Peter M. Johnson of the Seventy also taught that we can combat these “feelings of being unimportant, alone, discouraged, and unseen” by studying the Book of Mormon and “minister[ing] to the one in the Savior’s way.”
I realized that listening to the negative voice in my head was getting between me and the people I could minister to. Instead of focusing on my insecurities, I can be a friend to others and an instrument in the Lord’s hands.
4. Remember He Can Help You
When Elder Patrick Kearon of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles testified of new beginnings, I breathed a sigh of relief.
He said: “Through the goodness and grace of the Saviour, we can have fresh starts that propel change in old mindsets, bad habits, … negative attitudes, [and] feelings of powerlessness. … You can actually change things about yourself that have been wearing you down for years.”
I knew there were things about myself I wanted to change—my negative attitude being one of them—but Elder Kearon’s words made me feel excited about these changes rather than resentful.
When I was overwhelmed by insecurity, I almost lost sight of the whole purpose of change—becoming more like Jesus Christ and preparing to meet God (see Alma 12:24).
I’ve realized my haircut isn’t that important. And my relationship status doesn’t define me. The change I really needed wasn’t to suddenly become “good enough” but to turn to Jesus Christ. I’d much rather listen to His voice than the one inside my head. He tells me I am loved, I am gifted, I have help, and I have work to do.
And I believe Him.