How My Relationship with God Took Me from a Troubled Childhood to Playing the Role of Christ

While living in a homeless shelter, we were introduced to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I loved the gospel. Although we still struggled through the next few years, the more I focused on building my relationship with God, the lighter my burdens became.

I didn’t have contact with my dad, and because my mom struggled with untreated mental illnesses, there was often anger in our home.

I couldn’t control my challenges, but I could always find refuge in my relationship with God and Jesus Christ. That was a space nothing in the world could invade. I treasured quiet moments in prayer, reading the scriptures, and writing in my journal, and when things got really difficult at home, I would retreat into the quiet of nature.

As Elder Sandino Roman of the Seventy taught:

“Pray to your Heavenly Father as if it were the first time. Express your love and gratitude for His blessings. …

“If you are sincere and humble, you will hear His answer and begin a personal and lasting relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.”

When I spent time with God, I could see glimpses of His hand in my life, and that was the source of my hope. Sometimes when my relationship with my mother was painful and my future looked bleak, I would pray for help, and the Spirit would reassure me.

That divine relationship became a driving force for my life, including my acting. When I was 12, I was prompted to try out for the role of young Jesus in the Bible Videos. I wanted more than anything to portray the Savior I loved. I recorded my audition on a broken digital camera, wearing my mom’s pink bathrobe, and sent it in.

I didn’t get the part I wanted, but I never gave up hope that I could still serve the Lord through acting. I was grateful to have smaller roles in other Church projects. Eventually, I auditioned to portray the Savior again—this time as a young adult for the Church’s “Greater Love” Easter campaign.

As I fasted and prepared spiritually for my audition, I thought of everything the Savior has done for me. I gave my best interpretation of who the Savior has always been to me, focusing on the joy, love, peace, and selflessness that I know He expresses perfectly.

And I got the part. It was a full-circle moment when I thought of how I had been prompted to try out for the other role when I was younger. I could see how Heavenly Father was in the details of my life, always guiding me forward.

My relationship with the Savior influenced how I portrayed Him—because I know Him. He longs to bring peace and healing to those who are suffering and need His light.

I knew my portrayal of the Savior wasn’t about me at all. I was helping people to see and to know Jesus Christ in a way that I hope ignites their belief and hope in Him, the Prince of Peace.

The challenges of life can make you feel hopeless and detached from your higher purpose. But if you remember your divine identity and relationship with Christ, every interaction you have with others, every project you work on, and every step you take can bring you closer to the Savior.

Even if the odds are against you, when you are connected to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, you can find joy, meaning, and direction in any circumstances. You can have a “perfect brightness of hope” (2 Nephi 31:20). They love you perfectly. And They are walking with you.

That’s how Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have always shown up for me. And I know that because of Them, things really are going to be OK.