For Mothers of Young Children
When Being a Mom Doesn’t Feel So “Wonderful”
Motherhood can be a mix of joy and challenges.
As a first-time mom with a new baby, I was exhausted. I had been up all night with my newborn, and we barely made it to church. After the meeting, a sweet elderly woman grabbed my arm and said, “Isn’t being a mom just so wonderful?”
I felt too frustrated to respond. I had wanted to be a mom my entire life, and while I can admit there are so many wonderful aspects to motherhood, in that moment, it really didn’t feel all that “wonderful” to me.
I started to feel guilty as postpartum thoughts and worries slipped into my mind. What if I didn’t want to be a mom after all? In the newborn trenches, I wasn’t feeling this constant “wonder” that other moms were expressing. My heart also ached for women who longed to be mothers, and I felt selfish for not loving every minute of being a mom.
Did that make me a bad mom? Was I the only one feeling this way?
Finding the Wonderful
I texted a few of my friends who had also recently had babies. I was relieved to hear they also had difficult days (and nights). Talking with them led me to a stunning realization:
Maybe we use the word wonderful to describe motherhood because it can be hard and incredible at the same time.
I had been feeling frustrated that we use the word wonderful to describe being a mother, instead of words like challenging, selfless, all-consuming, words that felt very real to me as my baby relied on me 24/7. I almost wished that woman at church had asked, “Isn’t being a mom so hard?”
Suddenly the words from the hymn “I Stand All Amazed” came to my mind:
“Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!”
The Savior’s Atonement was challenging, selfless, and all-consuming. And yet we describe it in that song using the word wonderful.
What Being a Mom Has Taught Me
Now my son is one, and as I think back on the last year since I became a mom, I have learned so much. And most importantly, I have grown closer to Jesus Christ.
I often reflect on this quote from President Jeffrey R. Holland, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: “No love in mortality comes closer to approximating the pure love of Jesus Christ than the selfless love a devoted mother has for her child.”
I have come to understand the Savior better as I have learned what it is to be a mother.
I have also grown a deeper appreciation for my sweet mother and the countless sacrifices she has made for me throughout my life. Wonderful is a word I would use to describe her.
The scriptures constantly reference mothers and motherhood. Reading them as a mom has brought a new perspective into my life.
For example, rereading Isaiah 49:15 feels much more real to me now that I understand what it is like to constantly nurse a child: “Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.”
My body physically cannot forget that I have a child that depends on me, and yet—it still is not comparable to the perfect, everlasting love the Savior has for us.
Raising a son has helped me better understand the promised blessings of my temple covenants and given me greater purpose in wanting to exemplify the teachings of my Savior.
Every day as a mom brings a mix of challenges and joy, which perfectly describes why being a mom can be “wonderful,” even when it might not feel that way.
Although I don’t always feel like a “wonderful” mom, I hope each day I can become more and more like my Savior, Jesus Christ, and teach my son how to follow in His footsteps.