From YA Weekly
My Struggles with Spanish Taught Me How to Rely on the Lord
Heavenly Father can help us become capable, confident, and joyful through our journey in mortality.
Two years ago, I got home from my mission. I served Spanish-speaking with no prior experience in Spanish beyond the occasional number or greeting. I still remember, only a few months in, expressing my frustration to my mission president that I was still struggling with the language.
Why wasn’t Heavenly Father blessing me with the ability to speak fluently so that I could serve His children more effectively? Surely that was what He wanted.
What I didn’t realize then was that my mission wasn’t about becoming a perfect instrument overnight. It was about learning three principles that I would need in order to serve Heavenly Father for the rest of my life.
Reaping What We Sow
The scriptures describe a principle sometimes referred to as the law of the harvest: “Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap” (Galatians 6:7).
God is interested in our process of becoming more like Him. Like a seed that must be planted, watered, and patiently cared for before it bears fruit, self-reliance is forged and developed gradually.
Looking back, I see that struggling with Spanish taught me about daily repentance, goal setting, and perseverance. Over time, my ability to communicate grew far beyond what I originally thought was possible.
Turning Outward
Sometimes we think that self-reliance means doing things alone. My mission taught me that the opposite is true.
On my mission, my relationships grew in marvelous ways as I allowed others to help me. But no relationship grew more than the one with my Father in Heaven. Learning to lean on and trust Him has blessed me in many ways.
One Sunday, I had to teach a lesson in Spanish. I was so worried about embarrassing myself and became frustrated that my language was not flowing as well as I would have liked. Then, when it was my companion’s turn to speak, I felt the Spirit remind me: “Logan, this lesson isn’t about you; it’s about loving and teaching others. Forget yourself and go to work.”
When I turned my attention outward, the words began to flow. The Spirit was present, not because I was suddenly a perfect teacher but because I shifted my focus from myself to those I loved and served.
Trusting the Gardener
I’ve sometimes asked myself, “But if God wants us to exercise our agency by setting goals and making plans, why do my plans and goals sometimes seem to be ruined?”
In moments like this, I like to remember a story that President Hugh B. Brown (1883–1975) once told of pruning a currant bush.
He imagined the bush saying, “‘I was making such wonderful growth … , and now you have cut me down.’”
Does this sound familiar?
President Brown’s simple reply to the bush was this: “‘I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. … Someday, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to think back and say, “Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.”’”
I’ve had moments like that—when the goals and plans that I felt were good and righteous suddenly fell apart. In those moments, I’ve learned to trust that God is the gardener of my life. He sees my potential even when I can’t. His “pruning” is always an act of love.
It brings me comfort to know that my loving Father in Heaven is leading me toward something greater than I can presently imagine.
Self-Reliance Brings Growth
Lehi taught that “men are, that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:25). Becoming self-reliant takes faith, work, and patience, but it’s so worth it.
When we set goals, make plans, act “of [our] own free will” (Doctrine and Covenants 58:27), and trust God enough to let Him change those plans when needed, we grow into the people He intends us to become.
I am so grateful for the lessons that I learned during my mission, especially from learning a new language. While I am still actively waiting upon the Lord in other aspects of my life, I know I can trust Him.
Wherever you are on your journey toward self-reliance, remember: The Lord doesn’t expect you to do everything alone. Invite Him into the process. Lean on the people He places around you. And be patient with yourself.
In time, you’ll look back and see that as you rely on Him, every struggle, every delay, and every unexpected change has helped you become more capable, compassionate, and full of joy.