Digital Only: Young Adults
I Was Living the Gospel but Still Felt Sad. Was I Doing Something Wrong?
No one is immune to seasons of sorrow.
I was recently in a period of change. My little sister had just left for an internship, my two best friends were off having adventures, and there I was, still living with my parents and trying to figure out my life. I had gotten my college degree and had been applying to different jobs for months. I wanted things to change.
I really believed I was doing everything I could, yet I couldn’t find a job. I tried to be optimistic, focusing on my divine identity and giving myself lots of positive self-talk. I was certain that if I could get through this rough patch with a positive attitude, things would just fall into place.
But things still weren’t turning out the way I hoped, and I was being incredibly hard on myself. At one point during all of this, my brother visited, and I put on a happy face during his visit. But when I volunteered to drive him to the airport for his departure, the despair that had been building up for months was too much to hold in.
I told him, “I have a strong testimony, so why am I so sad? I feel like a hypocrite for trying so hard to live the gospel but still feeling sorrow. I feel so worthless.”
As always, my brother had many words of wisdom about my worth and about Heavenly Father’s love for me, which helped me feel a bit better.
As I drove home, I prayed to Heavenly Father about what my brother told me and about my sorrow. I asked Him why I was not living "after the manner of happiness” (2 Nephi 5:27) or feeling that joy we are promised if we are living the gospel.
I was living the gospel, wasn’t I?
I was saying my prayers, studying my scriptures, serving my family, and preparing to receive my endowment in the temple. So where was the joy? I had truly never felt this way before. I asked Heavenly Father to help me find answers.
And a few weeks later, I found them as I was studying 2 Nephi.
Nephi Sorrowed Too?
Nephi has always been one of my favorite prophets to read about. I’ve always resonated with his story.
In 2 Nephi 4, Lehi has just died. Nephi is once again being ridiculed by Laman and Lemuel.
And in verse 17, Nephi gets real about his emotions. In his grief for his dad and his brothers, He says, “Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities” (2 Nephi 4:17).
This stunned me. Nephi had seen amazing miracles and was completely converted to the Lord, but he was still struggling! Even Nephi—the Nephi—felt sorrow amid challenges, all while still trusting God?
I was amazed.
I wondered what Nephi did to overcome his discouragement and if I could do the same thing.
A few verses later, he says, “Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation” (verse 30).
The answer? Trust the Lord.
Nobody Is Immune from Sorrow
I realized that while waiting on the Lord during this time of uncertainty and sorrow, I could ask for more help, seek His hand, and reaffirm my desire to have Him as my rock and foundation of my life.
I realized that life would be full of hard seasons like this one.
No human, not even a prophet of God, is immune from having times of sorrow.
Even President Russell M. Nelson was once asked by a young girl if it was hard to be the prophet, and he honestly declared that “of course it’s hard. Everything to do with becoming more like the Savior is difficult.”
And isn’t this life supposed to be about just that—becoming like Him?
Life is hard. But it is worth it. Right now, it may feel like you are putting forth effort and not getting answers or even a glimmer of light of where next you need to go. But we can always trust that the Lord is guiding us and showing us how we can become more like Him through it all.
It’s OK if we feel sorrow sometimes, but when we are focused on the Savior, He can enable us to keep going, keep trying, and miraculously feel the joy He promises.
Trust the Lord. He is always there for us. We can rely on Him.
Good things are coming. He is coming. Don’t give up. Like Nephi said, “O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever” (2 Nephi 4:34).