Digital Only: Young Adults
4 Ways to Find Peace If You’re Facing Unrighteous Judgment at Church
When we focus on Jesus Christ, we can feel the joy and peace of the gospel in our lives.
The restored Church of Jesus Christ is a place of joy, hope, and belonging. It’s a community where we can gather as disciples of Christ to show our love for Him and for one another, and it’s a place where many people have wonderful experiences. But as imperfect people in an imperfect world, sometimes we compare ourselves to our fellow disciples or even pass unfair judgment on each other.
Maybe you have experienced judgment for having a different opinion. Maybe you have faced disapproval for making a mistake. Or maybe you’re involved in drama or rumors through no fault of your own. Although it can be painful to experience criticism from others, especially from other Church members, Jesus Christ offers us hope and healing. If you’re struggling to feel accepted at church, here are four things that can help you find peace through Christ.
1. Remember How the Lord Sees You
It’s normal to want others to think highly of us. If you are struggling with the weight of others’ opinions, it’s important to remember that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ see you and love you perfectly.
Romans 8:39 reads, “[Nothing] shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” When we remember that the most powerful Being in the universe loves us and wants the best for us, the opinions of others just don’t matter as much. His Son, Jesus Christ, is our Savior and friend, and He knows us perfectly. When we follow the commandments and bind ourselves to Them through covenants, we will receive strength to handle the challenges we face. And that includes strength to withstand the judgment and unkindness of others.
In Lehi’s vision, those who heeded the people in the great and spacious building fell away from the iron rod and ultimately from the tree of life (see 1 Nephi 8:31–34). But like the people who did not heed those in the great and spacious building and held tight to the iron rod, as we keep our hearts focused on the word of God and His everlasting love, we will be able to ignore the hurtful voices of others.
2. Find Peace in Repentance
If you are being criticized for a sin or a mistake you made, remind yourself that only the Lord fully knows your heart and intentions. If necessary, your bishop or branch president can counsel with you as you seek to repent. As you sincerely repent of your sins and strive to overcome your weaknesses, you will feel the personal peace and confidence that only the Lord can give.
Elder K. Brett Nattress of the Seventy once shared the story of a young man he knew who overcame a serious drug addiction. Even after repenting and serving a mission, this young man still worried that he hadn’t been forgiven of his past mistakes.
Elder Nattress said to him, “Of course you have been forgiven! You are amazing! Now what you need to do is move forward with your life. Don’t look back! Look forward with faith to the next ordinance.”
If people around you are fixating on your past sins, look to the words of Isaiah:
“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
“If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land” (Isaiah 1:18–19).
Have faith in the reality of Christ’s atoning sacrifice. He died for you because He wanted you to repent and return to Him. As you seek to change and align your life with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, you can experience the peace of a clean conscience.
3. Know That Forgiveness Is Possible
If people are judging you unrighteously, it can be easy to develop feelings of resentment. But harboring grudges or bad feelings only breeds more unhappiness.
In Doctrine and Covenants 64, Jesus Christ taught:
“Ye ought to forgive one another …
“I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men” (verses 9–10).
If you’re finding it hard to forgive, ask Heavenly Father to help you follow the Savior’s counsel in the New Testament: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).
You may feel that it’s best for you not to remain close with a friend or ward member who judges you—and that is OK. Even if you decide you need some space from this person, God can help you heal and forgive.
4. Develop Positive Friendships
The Old Testament teaches the importance of good friendships: “Two are better than one; … for if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow” (Ecclesiastes 4:9–10). Good friends can encourage us when we’re down and strengthen our resolve to progress.
If you feel lonely or isolated, you can look for opportunities to build friendships with people who want the best for you. As you seek friends, the thirteenth article of faith can provide some helpful guidelines. Look for people who are striving to be “honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and … doing good to all men.”
Jesus Christ Will Never Let You Down
It’s been said many times before, but it’s an important truth to remember—the Church is made up of imperfect people. And although we are trying our best to follow the Savior’s example, all of us will make mistakes. But as we turn to Jesus Christ, we can experience the gift of charity and true healing when we are hurt and be inspired to ask forgiveness from those we have hurt.
When it seems like others are against you, He who is perfect will never let you down.