Staying Committed When Facing Offense, Hurt, or Trials: Elaine Thornton

Sometimes we want our leaders to offer up perfection for us, and sometimes we want perfection from ourselves. And that’s such a tough thing to ask for when it’s contrary to the plan of the gospel. And I think it’s so important to remember the expectations should be growth and understanding and love for each other.

For instance, I once had a really tough experience with a leader, and it had really painful implications for our family. And I was really hanging on and had to look at myself and think, “He’s really hurtful. But maybe I’ve hurt people too. Maybe I’ve done that and I need mercy.” So I had to just get back to what I know. And it’s so important to remember what we know. Had that not happened, I wouldn’t have gone back to my foundations. Had that not happened, I wouldn’t turn to the Lord in such a deep, meaningful way. So I just keep growing in that progression of knowing my Heavenly Father, my Savior. And really, why do I want to know Him? I really want to know Him so I can be like Him.

As you meet together in Relief Society and as you counsel together, I invite you to lean in. Lean in to someone that doesn’t think like you or someone that is struggling with their testimony. Someone that was recently divorced. Someone that wonders if it’s all worth it. How about we lean in? I think we’ll be useful to the Savior if we learn that—if we learn how to do what He knows how to do. And we as sisters can offer each other this sort of beautiful grace and unity, realizing we all have something that we’re silently suffering through. And maybe as we work together and make it a safer place to be, we can even share some of our own difficulties that we maybe perhaps wouldn’t have so that a sister can find that we too have struggles. And we have to all open up and sort of change the culture of pretending perfectionism and helping each other to grow. I love it when someone can share with me, because then I can go to them and go, “Oh, how did you get through this? How did you deal with this? Thank you for sharing.” And it becomes a beautiful sisterhood of women who love and know their Heavenly Father.