Life Skills
Help! My Phone Is Taking Over My Life!
Disconnecting from your device will help you connect with those who matter most.
Drop the phone!
OK, maybe don’t actually drop it. (Phones are expensive, and your wallet will thank you for not.)
But if you’re someone who wants to drop the distraction, the doomscrolling, the time wasting … this one’s for you.
Finding Motivation to Put Down Your Phone
It’s easier to do something when you remember why you’re doing it. Before we get into strategies to help you put your phone away, let’s find some motivation.
1. Do It for Yourself
While there are plenty of things on your phone that are top-tier activities in moderation (like reading YA Weekly, obviously), doing any of them for excessive amounts of time probably isn’t going to give you the balanced diet of spiritual, emotional, and physical nourishment you need.
In the least beat-yourself-up kind of way, you deserve better! And better might mean less screen time.
2. Do It for Your People
Who loves you? Spoiler alert: not your phone. While phones do allow us to keep in touch with those we love, sometimes the way we use our phones (distracting ourselves, replacing face-to-face contact, torturing ourselves over unhealthy comparison, etc.) hurts rather than helps our relationships. We can’t let quantity of connection interfere with quality.
Putting down your phone more could open the door for deeper, more fulfilling connections with the people right in front of you.
3. Do It for Heaven
Continuing that “Who loves you?” question: Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ definitely do! But Their messages to you aren’t going to pop up on your phone screen.
Instead, Their messages—the personal ones, the powerful ones, the life-changing ones—will pop up in your heart and mind and life with the help of the Holy Ghost. You can be a lot more receptive to those messages without the constant interference of distraction from your phone.
President Russell M. Nelson has said: “I plead with you to let God prevail in your life. Give Him a fair share of your time.” Similarly, Elder Ronald A. Rasband of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has counseled, “Whatever is on your to-do list, give equal time, not spare time, to the Lord.”
Trading excessive phone time for equal, fair-share time with heaven (like studying scriptures, listening to gospel-centered music, praying, pondering, and attending the temple) will help you deepen your relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
How Do I Actually Do This?
Whether you’re trying to lessen the pull of your phone for yourself, your people, your Heavenly Father and Savior, or all of the above, kicking excessive phone use can still be hard! Like with any habit, you have to do something to break the cycle. Here are a few ideas:
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Give your phone a home outside your pocket. If you can’t reach your phone during times you don’t really need it, you can’t mindlessly scroll on it!
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Create phone-free spaces. Where do you overuse your phone? Your bed? The dinner table? The bathroom? Try making those places and times phone-free. Leave your phone in a different room so you’re not tempted to use it during these times.
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Have other boredom-fillers ready. When you’re trying to break a cycle of bad thoughts, it helps to fill your mind with good thoughts. The same is true for your phone habits. When you feel the itch to scroll too long, consider if there is another enjoyable, creative, relaxing, or productive activity you could fill your time with instead. Crack open a journal. Fold an origami crane. Take a walk. Even just picking a higher-quality activity on your phone, like calling a friend instead of watching endless reels, is a good way to start.
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Ask Heavenly Father for specific ideas. Think God doesn’t care about a goal this mundane? Think again. He cares about your righteous goals. Especially since decreasing your screen time could help you increase your spiritual receptiveness. Pray daily for ideas to limit your phone time and for strength to follow through on your plans. The Holy Ghost can inspire you with personalized ideas that will specifically help you.
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Be accountable to someone. Whatever strategies you pick, regularly reporting on your progress to a spouse, roommate, or friend could help you stick to your plan. You could even invite them to try to improve their own phone habits along with you.
Don’t Give Up
If you try any of these things and they solve your phone problems on the first try, congratulations! Also, I’d love a piece of your superhuman DNA, please. But if you try, fail, turn to God, and recommit, take comfort in knowing that you’re receiving one of God’s greatest gifts: repentance.
Using your phone too much isn’t a sin, but it can create sins of omission in your life when you miss out on what matters most. President Nelson has taught:
“Repenting is the key to progress. Pure faith keeps us moving forward on the covenant path.
“Please do not fear or delay repenting. Satan delights in your misery. Cut it short. Cast his influence out of your life! Start today to experience the joy of putting off the natural man.”
So, repent! Try again! Start today to change your phone habits. It will bless your life and give you more time to bless those around you.