Resolving Feelings of Anger

While anger is a normal feeling, it can still be challenging and frustrating. But you have the power to choose how you will respond.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, then of the First Presidency, counseled:

When it comes to our own prejudices and grievances, we too often justify our anger as righteous and our judgment as reliable and only appropriate. …

My dear brothers and sisters, consider the following questions as a self-test:

Do you harbor a grudge against someone else?

Do you gossip, even when what you say may be true?

Do you exclude, push away, or punish others because of something they have done?

Do you secretly envy another?

Do you wish to cause harm to someone?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may want to apply the two-word sermon from earlier: stop it! (“The Merciful Obtain Mercy,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2012, 74, 76)

adversity, forgiveness, overcoming anger

As you study today, seek guidance from the Holy Ghost to help you learn how Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will help you manage feelings of anger.

Read the following passages. Next to one, record the following truth: When we are slow to anger, we follow the Lord’s example.

• Psalm 103:8

• Proverbs 16:32

You can learn from the Savior how to be slow to anger. Read two or more of the following passages, looking for evidence of the truth. Link one of the following passages to the note you created in Psalms or Proverbs.

• Luke 9:51–56 (Jesus was rejected by a Samaritan village.)

• Luke 23:8–11 (Jesus was questioned by Herod.)

• John 19:3–12 (Jesus was arrested.)

Reflect for a moment on how you could follow the Savior’s example when you feel anger.

In contrast to the Savior, other individuals in the scriptures allowed anger to influence their decisions.

Isaac and Rebekah had twin boys, Esau and Jacob. As the oldest, Esau was entitled to his father’s birthright blessing. The birthright would mean Esau would inherit his father’s possessions and become the family’s provider and spiritual leader. After Esau’s unrighteous actions, Jacob was given the birthright blessing instead (see Genesis 27:1–33).

If it is available, watch “Jacob and Esau” (2:06).

2:5

Read Genesis 27:41–45, looking for how Esau responded when he learned that his father gave Jacob the birthright blessing. What were the consequences of Esau’s anger?

After 20 years of separation, Esau and Jacob met again. Jacob was afraid that Esau would still be angry.

Read Genesis 33:4. Pay attention to the actions of Esau.

• What could have influenced Esau to act the way he did?

One thing that can help us overcome feelings of anger is the Savior’s grace. It may feel impossible not to lose your temper, but, because of His Atonement, Jesus Christ can turn our weaknesses into strengths—including managing our anger (see Ether 12:27).

This portion of the lesson can help you understand three steps for managing anger. Record anything you find helpful in your notebook.

1. Recognize what sparked the angry feelings.

   • What are some circumstances that can spark angry feelings for a teenager?

   Ponder an experience you had that led to angry feelings. Identify what may have sparked your anger.

2. Identify underlying emotions.

   Anger is often a visible response to invisible emotions lying underneath the angry feelings. To manage anger, it is helpful to learn how to identify these invisible emotions. Study the following image to see some examples of invisible emotions.

   

   Remember a time when you felt angry. Ponder possible underlying emotions you may have been feeling at that time.

3. Cool down.

   The following image provides some of the skills we can use to cool down.

   

   For example, although Esau unintentionally spent time away from his brother Jacob, this allowed Esau to cool down (see Genesis 27:42–45). This time apart allowed Esau to successfully set aside his anger (see Genesis 33:4).

   Ponder one way you could practice cooling down so you can respond to angry feelings as Jesus would.