Family: The Centre of God’s Plan for Our Growth and Joy

The scriptures show that Joseph belonged to a covenant family, but with many unique characters. His brothers struggled with jealousy because their father Jacob loved Joseph deeply (see Genesis 37:3–4). Their jealousy grew into resentment, and their resentment hardened into a plan to harm him. They sold him into slavery and deceived their father into believing Joseph was dead (see Genesis 37:23–28).

What kind of family does that?

A real family.

A human family.

A family with weaknesses—just like one of many.

But the Lord never abandoned Joseph. Even in slavery, “the Lord was with Joseph” (Genesis 39:21; emphasis added). Through betrayal, false accusations, and imprisonment, Joseph stayed faithful. And when he finally rose to power in Egypt, he chose forgiveness over revenge. When his brothers came seeking food, Joseph could have punished them. Instead, he embraced them and said, “God did send me before you to preserve life” (Genesis 45:5).

Joseph’s story teaches a crucial truth: God does not require perfect families for His plan to succeed. He works through imperfect people who are willing to forgive, to love, and to continue forward with faith.

Knowing this has helped me many times as a husband and father.

Love—especially Christlike charity—is the most powerful influence in family relationships. Charity is not merely affection but a deliberate way of speaking, reacting, and choosing to see others with patience and compassion. Parents must lead with gentle persuasion, not force, because contention can never produce righteousness.

A few years ago, our family gathered to discuss where we should spend our Christmas vacation within our country. Two of my children—both energetic and outgoing—wanted us to stay in a hotel in Kenema. My wife and I understood their excitement, but we also knew how that choice would affect our savings and limit our ability to extend help to needy family members. Kenema is where many of our extended relatives live and also a place where they value culture. Christmas has always been a time when we try to open our arms to those who may come to visit.

What started as a simple decision soon turned into repeated strain. The children who wanted the hotel stay felt misunderstood; the others felt opposed for thinking differently. Small communication has broken down here. Some days my wife and I felt indecisive, wondering whether we were failing as parents—especially because the conflict was beginning to overshadow the spirit of the holiday.

We prayed and counselled together, searching for a way to honour our children’s desires while also teaching the deeper principle of balancing personal enjoyment with charity. Eventually, we found a middle path: a simple Catholic guesthouse with enough room for all of us, affordable enough to preserve what we needed to bless others, yet still giving the children the feeling of being “away” for the holiday. It was not exactly what anyone originally wanted, but it was something that honoured everyone’s needs.

During that period of tension, I spent many moments on my dialogue. One day, as I prayed, a calm feeling settled over me. A thought entered my mind—gentle but clear. It reminded me of something President D. Todd Christofferson has taught that parents are called not merely to keep peace in the home but to lead their children toward higher principles—and that true discipleship often requires deliberate, loving correction, patient teaching, and choices that reflect eternal priorities rather than momentary desires.

He teaches that families grow stronger when parents guide with purpose, helping children learn to choose what builds faith, unity, and compassion—even when those choices require sacrifice.

Remembering that helped me breathe again. It reminded me that our role was not to please every wish but to guide our children toward Christlike balance—toward understanding that joy, charity, and family unity can and must coexist.

And as we moved forward with love and steady leadership, hearts softened. The arguments faded. And our family grew closer—not just because we found a place to stay but because we learned, together, what President Christofferson teaches so often: that true happiness in families comes when love, sacrifice, and discipleship walk hand in hand.

“Love them first. Teach them second.”

That night, instead of teaching them about obedience or respect, I gathered all of our family and expressed how much we loved them. I shared memories of my childhood, their kindness, and the joy they brought into our home. To my surprise, they softened. One of them began to appreciate sharing gifts and coordinating plans to assist when the opportunity arises. Our family grew stronger not by avoiding conflict but by facing it with love and the help of the Lord.

Just like Joseph’s family, we are learning—slowly and imperfectly—that God can turn painful moments into blessings when we choose forgiveness and unity.

The prophets and apostles continually remind us that family relationships are sacred. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” teaches that “the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”

Families are not meant only for joy but also for learning.

In families, we learn:

• how to forgive.

• how to ask forgiveness.

• how to listen with love.

• how to work together.

• how to strengthen one another’s faith.

• how to become more like the Savior.

No classroom, no job, no friendship can teach these things the way family life can.

I invite each of us to choose one simple action in the coming weeks to strengthen our families:

• Pray for your family members by name.

• Send a message to someone you need to forgive.

• Read a chapter of scripture with your family.

• Hold a short family home evening, even if it’s just 20 minutes.

• Tell your children or spouse why you are grateful for them.

Small efforts bring great blessings.

I know that family is central to God’s plan. I know He placed us in families so we could learn, grow, and become more like Him. I have felt His love in my home during moments of peace and moments of struggle. I know the Savior heals hearts and strengthens families when we turn to Him. I testify that as we follow His example of love and forgiveness, our homes can become places of joy, holiness, and eternal growth.