My Most Prized Possessions

By Amy Bucker Bushman, Wisconsin, USA

The challenges of raising and caring for two children with autism can be daunting, but Eli and Hannah are a blessing. They bring me a lot of joy. They are my joy.

Our two children, Eli and Hannah, were born with autism and cognitive challenges. When they were young, they were very difficult. We had to keep a constant eye on them. While I would be dealing with one of them getting into mischief, the second one would get into mischief. At times, it was overwhelming to care for both.

When Eli was nine, he suffered from problematic aggression. We couldn’t keep him safe, and without any predictability, he would physically attack his sister or me and my husband, Troy. We concluded that out-of-home placement and treatment were best for him, but we had to find a place that would take him.

The only place we could find in the United States that we felt could help him with his developmental disabilities and aggression was a hospital more than a thousand miles away from our home in Wisconsin.

No one wants to send their nonverbal son away from home, especially when he doesn’t understand what’s going on. We didn’t want to do it. It didn’t feel right. But we prayed about it and knew we needed to do it.

I Needed My Savior

Because Eli associated packing suitcases with family vacations, he thought we were going someplace fun. When we got to the hospital and admitted him, he was very angry. He was scratching us, biting us, pulling our hair. Troy and I weren’t just physically wounded from checking Eli in; we were also emotionally wounded.

At that moment, I needed my Savior. I wondered where He was in that difficult situation. As we were leaving the hospital, we walked through the lobby of the hospital administration building across the street. Suddenly we came upon a large marble replica of the Christus statue by Bertel Thorvaldsen.

I didn’t know that organizations outside our church used that statue. When I saw it standing before me, I was overcome with an immediate and intense emotion. I felt that the Healer, with His outstretched arms and hands, was there. I felt Him healing us and healing our son. I felt the assurance that we had made the right decision. I felt that He wanted us to know He was there for us and had been with us every step of the way.

Heavenly Guidance

After two months of careful assessments in a controlled hospital setting, Eli’s treatment team identified a metabolic issue contributing to his aggression. Once this was addressed, they used applied behavioral analysis to tackle his problem behaviors.

Eli thrived in the hospital setting. He got oodles of attention and predictability each day—something he craves and something we give him now that he is home for good. After the first two months of his stay there, we took him on short trips outside the hospital, a time that ranks with the happiest days of my life. We visited him for a week each month, during which we received parent-training classes. His treatment lasted four months.

Hannah had difficulty understanding Eli’s absence, but we reassured her that Eli was getting help, which brought her comfort. After Eli returned home, we were amazed at the changes in him. Friends were amazed too, asking us how we knew to do what we did. We told them we had received guidance from our Heavenly Father, which led us to the right treatment for Eli.

Enabling Power

I testify that the Savior has been there for us through some extremely dark times with our children. Life can get difficult, but we know things will be OK. We have received grace through the Savior’s Atonement—His “enabling power” that strengthens us through our challenges.

When we’re in the middle of dark times, we think, “Well, this is normal life.” So, it doesn’t seem so bad. But afterward, we wonder, “How did we get through that?” We got through it because the Savior carried us through it, giving us help we didn’t realize we were receiving while battling through another day.

Because of the treatment Eli received, he is now completely free from his bouts of aggression. He was able to graduate from school. He is active in his community, bowling and playing baseball. He even has a job in a commercial kitchen. And we can now attend church together as a family.

When my children were young and difficult, I received lots of hugs and side glances from strangers as if to say, “You poor thing. I’m sorry that’s what you ended up with.” That always made me sad.

Eli and Hannah are my children, my most prized possessions. I love them. Despite the challenges of raising and caring for them, they’re a blessing. I don’t see them as something negative in my life. I find their fascinations fascinating. They bring me a lot of joy. They are my joy. I know that as I faithfully live Heavenly Father’s plan, I get to keep them forever.