How Feeling God’s Love Can Change Your Approach to Dating

During the lowest point in my life, I offered a pleading prayer to Heavenly Father. I received a surprising answer: “I want you to receive My love.”

I was suddenly and profoundly aware of His love. It was all around me!

Later, as I was reading in the scriptures about charity and the pure love of Christ, I came to a new understanding: “If ye have not charity, ye are nothing” (Moroni 7:46). In that moment, I realized that I needed to receive and share God’s love.

If you truly knew you were loved by God, you might be able to show up on a date with less worry. You might have more security in knowing that you are already loved. Instead of dating out of fear or insecurity, you might feel emotionally available to get to know someone.

Feeling loved can help you change the way you date. This can help you shift from a self-centered attitude of “I care how you make me feel” to a loving, get-to-know-you attitude of “I care how you feel.”

Do you see the difference between these two attitudes?

God’s love will bring confidence, peace, and clarity into the often complicated and confusing world of dating. A person filled with the love of God is better able to get to know those they date.

Sharing Christlike love might be strange at first—many young adults expect to be evaluated on dates, not immediately loved and accepted. Some believe that they have to earn love and acceptance, which makes that love and acceptance conditional and transactional.

But you were designed to be a receiver and giver of love.

Elder Patrick Kearon of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught: “Our loving Father oversaw the Creation of this very earth for the express purpose of providing an opportunity for you and for me … to use our God-given moral agency to choose Him, to learn and grow, to make mistakes, to repent, to love God and our neighbour, and to one day return home to Him.”

We are “choosing Him” when we share His love.

So now you know the power of approaching dating with Christlike love. But, if you’re wondering how to actually do that, here are a few helpful ways to start:

• Express genuine interest and listen to what your date has to say.

• Express gratitude for your date’s willingness to meet and spend time together.

• Be kind and respectful throughout your date.

• Have a desire to develop charity for others and pray for help that “ye may be filled with this love” (Moroni 7:48).

• Be honest about who you are. Few things help love grow and develop more than being authentic. This doesn’t mean spilling your whole life story to anyone who will listen, but do tell the truth about yourself when the opportunity presents itself. Don’t lie about liking sushi if you hate it, or pretend to be calm when you’re actually nervous, or present yourself as someone you are not. Honesty attracts honesty. Divine love will give you the courage to be yourself.

Elder Ulisses Soares of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught: “One of the most evident signs that we are drawing closer to the Savior and becoming more like Him is the loving, patient, and kind way with which we treat our fellow beings, whatever the circumstances.”

As you increase your ability to feel love and charity toward yourself and others, you will become a better disciple of Jesus Christ. Your love will be overflowing, and your relationships will be marked by Christlike love.