Feeling Sad

Savannah pulled the blankets over her head. Today had been a really bad day.

During school today, Savannah couldn’t focus on anything. She had felt tired, frustrated, and sad. There was a heavy weight in her stomach that wouldn’t go away. By the end of the day, all she wanted to do was crawl under her desk and hide.

Lately, Savannah felt sad almost all of the time. Her friends had tried to cheer her up, but sometimes Savannah didn’t want to be with them. They always seemed so happy. Sometimes she thought they would be happier without her.

What’s wrong with me? Savannah wondered. Why can’t I be happy like everyone else?

She felt as cold and lonely as the gray clouds outside. And now she just wanted to sleep.

Savannah heard her bedroom door open.

“Savannah,” Mom said, sitting on the edge of the bed, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Savannah said. “I’m just tired.”

“Are you sure?” Mom asked. “I’m worried about you.”

“I’m OK,” Savannah said.

“All right.” Mom stood up. “Just remember that you can talk to me about anything. I love you.”

Savannah stayed in bed until dinner. That night, she couldn’t fall asleep. Her brain wouldn’t stop thinking about everything.

The next day she still felt worn out. It was another long day. Savannah got home from school and sat at the kitchen table. She sighed and looked out the window. It was snowing again.

“Savannah?”

Savannah turned and was surprised to see Grandma come into the room.

“Hi, Grandma,” Savannah said. “What are you doing here?”

Grandma sat down. “Your mom wanted me to come,” she said. “She’s worried about you.”

“I’ve just been really tired. I’m fine, though,” Savannah said.

Grandma smiled gently. “Did I ever tell you about the summer Grandpa and I moved?”

“I don’t think so,” Savannah said.

“I was sad all the time,” Grandma said. “I wanted to be happy, but I just didn’t care about anything. I felt so lonely.”

“But you had Grandpa and my mom.” Savannah looked down at her shoes. “Why would you feel lonely?”

“I couldn’t figure out what was happening,” Grandma said. “I had never felt that way before. I eventually went to the doctor.”

“What happened?”

Grandma put an arm around her. “I learned I have depression.”

“Oh, so you just felt sad?” Savannah asked.

“No, depression is more than just feeling sad,” Grandma explained. “My sadness didn’t seem to go away. I struggled to do all the things I normally did. And I had a hard time connecting with other people, even my own family. I really needed help.”

Savannah looked up. “What kind of help?”

“The doctor explained what was wrong, and we made a plan together to help me feel better,” Grandma said. “But sometimes I still felt sad. I spent a lot of time praying. When I was lonely, I imagined the Savior sitting beside me. I felt better thinking about Him.”

Savannah looked at the snow outside and shivered. “I feel sad a lot too. I try to feel happy, but sometimes I just can’t, and then I’m mad at myself for feeling that way.”

“I know, honey.” Grandma gave Savannah a hug. “That’s how I feel sometimes too. But you’re not alone. I love you, your parents love you, and Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love you. They understand your pain and will never leave you.”

Maybe Grandma is right, Savannah thought. I’m not alone. The weight in Savannah’s stomach didn’t feel quite as heavy.

“I think I should talk to Mom,” Savannah said. “She wants to help me too.”

“That’s a great idea.” Grandma took Savannah’s hand.

Savannah smiled and leaned on Grandma’s shoulder. She didn’t feel quite so cold and lonely anymore.

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Illustrations by Marina Pessarrodona