From YA Weekly
How Can Christ Help Me Heal Emotional Wounds from My Childhood?
Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can heal from imperfect family situations.
A central doctrine of the gospel of Jesus Christ is the doctrine of eternal families.
President M. Russell Ballard (1928–2023) said, “Family relationships are among those things that matter most.” Whether you had a stable childhood home with healthy family relationships or a childhood home filled with neglect, hostility, or dishonesty, your family relationships have likely had a profound influence on you.
If you experienced difficult challenges in your childhood family, you may feel as if you are stuck and have little control over your future because of your past. Heavenly Father understands that not all family circumstances are ideal. Through His Son, Jesus Christ, He offers help, healing, and hope.
The Savior’s Grace
Life isn’t always ideal. Some of you might have had painful experiences similar to someone I’ll call Amber, a client I worked with in my position as a counselor with Family Services. Amber has given permission for this part of her story to be shared in this article.
Shortly after Amber was born, her mom decided to leave Amber’s father. Once Amber was old enough to care for herself, her mom left her home alone all day to work two or three jobs.
Amber saw happy families around her with both a mother and a father and wished her family could be together too. She took care of herself most days, and when her mom was home, she enforced strict rules and expectations to protect Amber from getting into trouble.
Amber’s difficult childhood left her with a lot of negative feelings toward her parents.
Parents, like all of God’s children, make mistakes, most often unintentionally. These mistakes, like those Amber experienced, can cause children pain.
Part of healing from childhood wounds is recognizing that your parents were doing the best they could with the resources they had and also being patient with their shortcomings. This means not holding those actions against them, especially if your parents attempt to have a healthier relationship with you. Through His grace, which is available to everyone, the Savior enables us to overcome painful experiences and forgive those who have hurt us.
When we face challenging situations, He can help us choose the best way to respond and move forward.
Responses to Emotional Pain
When something bad happens to us, we generally respond in one of three ways.
We might blame ourselves or minimize our suffering, or we might become afraid of trusting others, including God. These first two responses keep us feeling stuck and limit our opportunities to move on.
But another response is to change our perspectives and focus on what can be learned from the painful experiences we’ve faced. This way of thinking promotes healing and growth.
Our responses to pain often come automatically. However, we can use our agency to focus on growth and move forward from initial reactions. Elder Neil L. Andersen of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught:
“On earth we experience joy and sorrow as we are tested and proven. …
“As we strengthen our faith in Jesus Christ, we see beyond our struggles to the blessings and promises of eternity. Like a light whose brilliance grows, hope brightens the darkened world, and we see our glorious future.”
Being Made Whole
The Savior knew we would face trials that would leave us feeling stuck, and through His Atonement, He provided a way for us to keep moving forward.
Sister Kristin M. Yee, Second Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency, said:
“The Savior [did]—in an incomprehensible way—take upon Him our sins and the sins of those who have hurt or offended us. …
“… We are not left to deal with the consequences of others’ actions on our own; we too can be made whole.”
Elder Patrick Kearon of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught about the Savior’s gift of healing: “With courage, patience, and faithful focus on Him, before too long you can come to fully accept this gift. You can let go of your pain and leave it at His feet.”
Healing requires action on our part. To heal, we must recognize and acknowledge our hurt and pain so we can leave it at the Savior’s feet. In moments when our pain feels too overwhelming and too heavy to carry on our own, we can turn to our Father in Heaven in prayer, seek guidance from trusted friends, and even consult with licensed mental health professionals to help us.
President Russell M. Nelson taught: “There is no limit to the Savior’s capacity to help you. His incomprehensible suffering in Gethsemane and on Calvary was for you! His infinite Atonement is for you!”
Reach for Christ in Faith
We read in Matthew about the woman with the issue of blood who touches Christ’s clothes, hoping to be healed. The Savior turns to her and says, “Be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole” (Matthew 9:22). The woman exercises her faith by reaching out to Christ. We too can receive healing if we reach out to Him in faith.
The Savior can heal not only our wounds but also our relationships. As you navigate the aftermath of emotional pain or trauma from the hurt you may have endured as a child, the Savior will restore your peace and joy as you turn to Him for healing.
Look to Him and let your heart be made whole again.