From YA Weekly
Learning That My Worth Isn’t Tied to Perfection
When I stopped confusing obedience with worth, I finally understood grace.
Do you ever feel like God is tired of you repeating the same sins over and over again? Or like your worth depends on how well you obey and follow rules?
If you’ve felt this way, know you’re not alone.
Ever since I was a child, I’ve tied my self-worth to being the “good” child—or at least the child who didn’t make mistakes. I craved approval, so I tried my best to be the best student, the best daughter—the one who always colored inside the lines.
But children make mistakes. Students need correction. Growing up means learning, sometimes through failure or challenges or mistakes. Still, even though I knew this was true, every mistake felt like a crack in my worth. I saw myself as less valuable to my family, teachers, and peers whenever I didn’t meet expectations perfectly.
Remembering Why Christ Came
This perfectionist mindset quickly carried over into my faith when I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints at 18. I believed that being the most obedient member made me valuable in the eyes of Heavenly Father. Once again, I was measuring my worth by how well I was following the rules.
While my intentions were sincere, I was mistaken. This mindset slowly eroded my confidence.
So, what changed?
For me, it was the April 2025 general conference—specifically a talk given by Sister Tamara W. Runia, First Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency. She said, “I testify that while God cares about our mistakes, He cares more about what happens after we make a mistake.”
As I stood in my living room, tears streamed down my face. The Spirit spoke to my heart, reminding me that I’d been wrong to tie my obedience to my worth and that I needed to see things differently.
God didn’t value me less when I made mistakes. I had been so wrong to believe that. Sister Runia continued by teaching that when we repent, God rejoices. Each week when I take the sacrament, I have the opportunity to renew my covenants, start fresh, and try again.
Worth Is Constant—Always
The part of the talk that really struck me was when Sister Runia illustrated our worth as God’s children with her hands.
She raised her left hand to represent someone’s inherent worth, then used her right hand to show the ups and downs of life—mistakes, successes, struggles, and progress. As the “obedience” hand moved up and down, the “worth” hand stayed steady.
Sister Runia testified: “Your worth isn’t tied to obedience. Your worth is constant; it never changes. It was given to you by God, and there’s nothing you or anyone else can do to change it. Obedience brings blessings; that is true. But worth isn’t one of them. Your worth is always ‘great in the sight of God’ [Doctrine and Covenants 18:10], no matter where your decisions have taken you.”
This was a powerful truth I needed to learn.
Revelation for My Soul
During that general conference, Heavenly Father answered a question I hadn’t realized was buried deep in my soul. It was revelation for my heart, undoing decades of low self-esteem and lack of confidence and instead filling me with His pure love and mercy.
The gospel of Jesus Christ is one of hope because it teaches repentance. Through our Savior, Jesus Christ, we can be renewed, cleansed, and sanctified. He truly delights in forgiving us. That’s why He willingly suffered for our sins and afflictions. As I’ve remembered this truth and focused on the infinite mercy He offers every time I turn to Him, I’ve felt my sense of self-worth increase and my insecurity fade.
If you’ve ever felt that your worth depends on your obedience, remember how Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love you perfectly. They have provided a way for you to be redeemed. Ask Heavenly Father how He sees you—and then let that truth settle deep into your soul.
Hold on to it. Never doubt it again.