Marriage, Family, and Children
Elder Neil L. Andersen: We were all greatly moved by the message of President Oaks in this last general conference. He spoke with great power about the family, marriage, and children. You remember when he said, “The Church of Jesus Christ is sometimes known as a family-centered church. It is!” Let’s watch this short video and our discussion with the young adults.
President Dallin H. Oaks (2025): Our relationship to God and the purpose of our mortal life are explained in terms of the family. … It is vital that Latter-day Saints do not lose their understanding of the purpose of marriage and the value of children. That is the future for which we strive.
The doctrine of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints centers on the family.
President Dallin H. Oaks (2023): Marriage is central to the purpose of mortal life and what follows. We are children of a loving Heavenly Father who created us with the capacity to follow His commandment to multiply and replenish the earth. That power of creation is one of the most precious gifts we have in mortal life. But central to that gift is the law of chastity, the commandment that our powers of procreation be expressed only within marriage, between a man and a woman. …
Consider what young adult Latter-day Saints miss when their marriages are intentionally delayed for a significant period: opportunities lost and blessings postponed. This means delays in the important personal growth that occurs in the relationship between a man and a woman, husband and wife, growth in such qualities as sacrifice and humility. It means decreased opportunities to work together to build the kingdom of God. And most important, it means fewer children born to grow up with the blessings of the gospel.
Just remember, a loving Heavenly Father has a plan for His young adults, and part of that plan is marriage and children.
Elder Neil L. Andersen: Can you believe this beautiful, beautiful place right at the most iconic view of the Washington D.C. Temple? And we’re here to talk about families, about marriage, and about children.
And we have with us Max and Nicole, who are married. And we also have on this side Chris and Lindsay, who are married as well. What came into your minds when you heard President Oaks speaking this last conference?
Max: I’m very grateful for President Oaks and him teaching the importance of the family. I think for me personally and for Nicole, being married to Nicole is one of the choicest blessings of my life. Also, having a family. We have a three-year-old son, Enoch.
Nicole: I’m so grateful for the teachings of prophets and apostles about the importance of family. I think in our day-to-day, it can be difficult to try to figure out how our lives are going to look with careers and also with a family. I know for me, I knew I wanted to pursue graduate degrees, a graduate degree, and I also wanted to have a family. And the path to do both was not straightforward for me. And Max and I spent lots of time fasting and praying and going to the temple to try to learn how to balance those two things. And we felt prompted that if we put family first, that everything would work out.
And we didn’t know sometimes month to month how things were going to work out, but it did. And I have a strong testimony of the importance of family and making family a priority.
Elder Neil L. Andersen: So, Lindsay, tell us about being married to Chris.
Lindsay: We got married at this temple right here. And just to be able to be sealed to Chris, somebody as great and sweet as Chris has been, is such a great blessing just to know that we’re in it together, but it’s also not just the two of us, that we’re a family and we’re centered around Christ, and that whatever challenges come our way, whether that be paying off student loans or looking for or establishing our careers, we just know that we’ll do it together with Christ right there.
Chris: Maybe we got married older in life, but I think it wasn’t through a lack of trying. I think the Lord has a timing for everything, and I think both of us were faithful and confident that the Lord had a plan for us. And if we were diligent in keeping His commandments, that our moment would come eventually.
Elder Neil L. Andersen: We have Ethan, Joy, Olivia, Zach, Sameeta, Lindsey, and Kelson. And we’re going to talk a little bit about these three words: family, marriage, children.
Kelson: I think there are many people who have a variety of different family circumstances. And I feel personally blessed to have been given a family that has given me a lot of guidance, a lot of direction, purpose, identity, a feeling of safety.
I like to reflect on just all the blessings I’ve received in being part of a family myself, and seeing my brothers and sisters and their families, and just how wonderful that family life can be. I know many people. I know no family is perfect, but there’s a lot of—once you taste the joy that can be in a family, it can motivate you to want it as well.
Sameeta: I’m not yet married, but I’m looking forward to a temple marriage. I know marriage is essential to God’s plan, and the gospel itself teaches us—it blesses us and exalts us eternally. Sometimes we want things to work out, but it doesn’t.
But something that I’ve learned in my life is to have faith in God’s timing. And I know that He has a plan for each one of us, and He knows us and loves us individually. And no matter how long it will take, just trust in Him.
And the second thing I’ve learned is to prepare myself spiritually and personally. Preparing for eternal marriage doesn’t start when you find a companion. You can begin your personal journey now.
Elder Neil L. Andersen: Now, Joy, I hope you don’t mind me mentioning this. You joined the Church just a couple of years ago after going through a very sad marriage. How do you look on family, marriage now? Where do you stand now as a member of the Church?
Joy: Well, I really liked how President Oaks addressed everyone, and I liked how he acknowledged that not all situations are happy. And I really liked how he spoke to mothers, because I am a mother from that marriage and I have a four-year-old little boy.
And I liked how he said, like, even if you’re not currently married, you can still teach your children to look to the blessings of family and getting sealed in the temple. I just felt very seen by him addressing people in nontraditional situations, or like mothers who aren’t married.
Elder Neil L. Andersen: Very beautifully said.
Ethan: One of the things President Oaks has said before in a BYU devotional was that you can’t force spiritual things. And I read that line and I was really impacted by that because we want a spiritual marriage, we want a spiritual family. We want a family that’s centered in Christ. We want a companion who has faith that we can serve, that we can support. And that’s only found as we focus our lives on Jesus Christ. And I think sometimes there’s frustration when we’re younger, you know, that, “Oh, I could have made this happen,” or this or that or whatever. And in reality, you can’t force spiritual things.
Elder Neil L. Andersen: I love what you’re saying. I’m just going to challenge you a little bit here. You can’t force spiritual things, but you can invite more interaction with young women. How are you doing at that?
Ethan: Well, you know, there’s all sorts of methods here. You know, I always try the across-the-room glance, you know. Maybe an app or two. But in reality, I think it’s most important to understand that that pursuit is the most important thing that we can have.
Putting yourself out there and having the confidence to say, you know, I’m a son of God, I got a lot of good things going for you. I’m going to go out and introduce myself to somebody and just learn about them and learn more about who they are and what they believe and what they’re doing in their life. As you make it about the other person, you’re able to learn a lot more about yourself.
Elder Neil L. Andersen: Olivia. As you’re looking at someone you could possibly marry, what are you looking for?
Olivia: I think first and foremost, I’m looking for someone who is keeping their covenants.
Elder Neil L. Andersen: Zach, you know something President Oaks speaks about quite a bit is the proclamation on the family. How do you feel about the different principles in there? And have you thought about it recently?
Zach: I guess I have two thoughts. And number one is that it can be hard to listen to Church leaders or to read the family proclamation and see where my life might not measure up at this time, and that can be very difficult. But just because it’s difficult or hard doesn’t mean it’s not true or truth. And I guess the second thought, as we listened in the video, President Oaks mentioned that the greatest growth comes in marriage and the marriage relationship, and knowing that that’s true—believing, trusting that that’s true—doesn’t excuse me, as an unmarried person, from focusing on the covenants I have made and trying to grow more Christlike in all the ways I can.
Elder Neil L. Andersen: Exactly. Thank you for that beautiful perspective.
Could we have one final expression of love for President Oaks before addressing our third subject?
Young Adults from Tonga: We are praying for you from the beautiful islands of Tonga.
Young Adults from Korea: Sending love from Korea! We love you, President Oaks!
Young Adults from Brigham Young University–Idaho: It’s our privilege to sustain you as the Prophet of the Church during this next season of Church leadership, President Oaks. We look forward to following you and are excited to support you as young adults all over the world.